Getting Real

Wow, it has been a long, long time since I have posted. I've been busy this summer with sewing camp, a wedding at the beach, VBS, and everything else that summer brings. It has been an amazing summer full of good times and great friends.

One special friend has been battling cancer this summer. She has fought courageously and with tremendous faith. Her battle is nearly won and we are all praying for a full recovery and many more years to share in her sweet spirit. Throughout her battle she has "kept it real". She honestly and openly voiced the uglier side of cancer treatment. It made it easier to be a friend, knowing what she needed and what trials she was facing day to day. If nothing else, I knew what specific prayers she needed.

As I talked to my cousin this morning, I realized that moms aren't very good at keeping it real. We want to be super heroes and have it all together. In an earlier conversation, she had mentioned what a challenge it was washing her 4 year old daughter's hair because it was so thick and she screamed and my cousin got frustrated. Today she said "I don't want you to think I'm always frustrated with my daughter over her hair." I laughed and told her that it's part of being a mom. Children can be frustrating.

Perhaps that's our problem though. On the outside, in the outside world, we have it all together. We never yell at our kids. We are always calm and we never get outwardly frustrated because people are watching and they will find out our dirty little secret...we are not perfect mothers. In the comfort and security of our home, when we let our guards down, we allow ourselves all the ugly, yet real, emotions and we hate ourselves for it. It confirms our worst fears, we are not super heroes.

I try to be the voice of honesty when talking to my friends with young kids. I tell them my horror stories of my oldest that screamed from the moment she was born until she was 1. There were days I wanted to run away. There were days I wanted to sell her to the gypsies. My house was a mess, I was a mess, and there was no pretending I had it all together.

There have been days I have snapped at my kids, not often but on occasion. I use it as a life lesson. I sincerely apologize and tell them that I am tired, overwhelmed, frustrated, whichever emotion fits the scenario. I tell them that I should not have gotten angry with them or snapped at them. In my weakness, I have humbly shown them that I am still a work in progress. In recent years this has born compassion. They sense when I am tired or sick and rather than pushing my buttons, they offer to help.

Moms, let's do a better job of keeping it real. Let your family and friends know when you are struggling so they can help you and pray for you. Don't put on a pretty smile and clean clothes when your husband comes home and you have had the worst day imaginable. God gave us a spouse to help us and love us. He cannot help us if he does not know we need help. Take some time out of your day just for you. A time to sort out your thoughts, dreams, and maybe take a shower. Raising kids is the hardest job you will ever love. God knows we are not perfect so stop pretending that you are and accept the help you desperately need.

Sugar Cookies

I thought I would share my latest and greatest sugar cookie recipe. It's a constant struggle with sugar cookies because I cannot have dairy. The fake butter tastes, well, fake. I use palm shortening which is fine but just doesn't compare with the half butter, half shortening cookies that I used to love. Tonight I decided to try coconut oil. The resulting dough felt much closer to the cookie dough I grew up loving and sneaking bites. The taste is excellent. I will roll them and cook them tomorrow and will post an update. Here is the recipe:

Simply Sugar Cookies
1/3 C coconut oil
1/3 C shortening
3/4 C sugar
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tbsp. lemon juice
zest of 1 lemon
2 C flour

Combine shortening and coconut oil in mixer bowl. Add sugar and cream until combined. Add egg, vanilla, lemon juice, lemon rind, baking powder, and salt. Beat until fluffy. Add in 1 cup flour and mix until combine. Stir in remaining flour by hand, just until thoroughly combined. Divide dough in half and press into flattened circles between plastic wrap. Refrigerate until thoroughly chilled. I like to leave them overnight. Roll out to an 1/8 inch thickness and cut with cookie cutters. Bake at 350 for 7 min. or until set.

Barrettes

My latest obsession is wool covered clips for my daughter. She loves wearing extra pretties in her hair to dance so I started making small ones and then found giant ones out shopping the other day. I love the size because I can add embroidery and beads. It's a great project to do while I'm waiting at dance and piano lessons.

They are simple to make. You need those snap clips that you bend to open and bend to close. Cut 2 circles of felt big enough to cover the entire clip. Make a small slit off to one side and slide the clasp part of the clip through the opening. Attach the other circle on top and you now have a pretty clip perfect for a little bit of hair or for adorning a pony tail or braid.

Facebook Farse

I've been thinking about technology lately and its benefits and pitfalls. Technology has made it easier than ever before to keep in touch with the people we hold dear. It has made it possible to connect with like minded people all over the world. It has shrunk our world and expanded our access to information.

But with progress comes pitfalls. The industrial age also ushered in new technology and easier access to machinery that simplified the drudgery of household labor. With that positive came the negatives including child labor, pollution, and increased exposure to danger in the workplace. So to, our society has seen the benefits of progress along with the hazards.

I could talk about the internet, cell phones, computers, and a host of other advances but my biggest concern lies in the social network. I have noticed that people can keep up their appearances on Facebook easier than in person. I read a friend's post about her wonderful children only to have her say over the phone that she cannot wait to send them off to school because they were driving her crazy. I see posts about injury and illness and the replies of prayers and hope only to be left wondering if anybody has actually reached out to this person with a heartfelt sentiment and real help. Worse yet, simply click the "like" button and you feel as if you've acknowledged their suffering and done your job.

With 400 "friends" listed on Facebook, I can guarantee that there are only a handful that would really help me in times of trouble. These are obviously not all true friends but acquaintances. Does this blur the line for our young people? With children as young as 10 (that I know personally) sporting Facebook pages, do they understand the difference between friend and acquaintance? I know we used to chase after the myth that was popularity in high school and junior high. Does accepting any friend that comes along on Facebook instantly make you popular? What if those friends are dangerous and strangers?

Social networking has made us seemingly more connected and at the same time removed us from the community. We know what is going on at the Jones' or at least we think we do. How many people really post what their life is really like on their Facebook page? Status: I'm drinking to escape my life. Status: I'm cheating on my spouse. Status: I have this big fancy house that I cannot afford. Status: I am unemployed and drowning in debt. Status: I am hopeless but I just put a smile on my face. These are the things we miss about our friends and neighbors when we don't talk to them face to face. We cannot love others when we do not know what they need.

Disconnect today. Love your neighbor as yourself. Hug your friends in person. Take a meal rather than clicking "like". Reconnect with your community. Lift each other up in prayer rather than just saying you will. Send a handwritten note, smile a real smile, laugh in the company of your friends, and reconnect with our world.

Tulle Explosion

Tutu making is not for the weak of heart or easily discouraged. It is a tremendous amount of tulle which can be rather unwieldy at times. Above, my trusty old Bernina is chugging through the 4th row of tulle on the waistband for this romantic tutu. No fancy machinery though, just a good old mechanical machine that can muscle through anything yet still handle delicate tulle. I have fancier machines that do fancier stitches but this is by far the machine I use the most.

When I lovingly open up my Bernina and clean lint out of the metal gears and drop some oil here and there to keep her running, I am reminded of the utility and simplicity inherent in these machines. They were manufactured in the 1970's. The intention was that they would run forever. It seems that more and more things have become disposable. And not just razors and grocery bags, but big things like appliances, furniture, vehicles. How many people do you know driving around a 20 year old car? Has our age of abundance and prosperity made us wasteful?

Let's talk socks for a minute. My daughter is learning to sew from an old book originally published in 1913. One of the lessons is darning and mending. When was the last time you thought about mending a sock? Having started but not finished knitting a sock, I can tell you if that sock got a hole, I would definitely mend it because of all the labor I have sacrificed. Maybe because necessities are so cheap, we don't consider our wastefulness.

For dinner tonight...grilled salmon, roasted cauliflower, sweet potatoes, and bread.

Here is the finished tutu...

Details

It's hard to break old habits. When the kids were young, I had to sew really fast or I would never get anything done. I took shortcuts and sewed up quick things so I could feel some sense of accomplishment. Of course toddlers can get away with elastic waist pants and slightly wonky dresses and tops. As we are rapidly approaching teenager hood, my sewing needs to change as well.

I enjoy heirloom sewing because the inside looks as beautiful as the outside. The seams are all beautiful french seams. I love the look of a hand stitched shell edged neck. Even the lace is inserted and the edges are finished so that at a glance, you cannot tell right from wrong sides. I have often put a sleeve in inside out because I did not check carefully.

My girls are too old for much heirloom sewing these days. They have long outgrown the lacey, ruffly dresses of their babyhood. I still love making them and have found a dress to make for my oldest for Easter that will incorporate some heirloom sewing but in a more grown up way. I am excited to return to my first sewing passion. Hopefully I can restrain myself and not make it too much like a doily.

This brings me to my waistband picture above. I was so used to racing through things just to get them done that I was taking shortcuts. When my shortcuts produced a less than stellar product, I was disappointed. My oldest needs new shorts for summer and having no money to buy them, I will be making them. They need to look like all the other kids shorts. I decided to take my time and finish the insides properly. I added some buttonhole elastic so they would be slightly adjustable for her ever changing shape. They turned out beautifully and my time and attention was not in vain...she loves the shorts.

Here Kitty, Kitty

When I was growing up, my dad owned a store in the middle of town. He has been an appliance repairman for almost 38 years. Mom says that he started the business to pay for my delivery. I often saw him come home at the end of the day with random odds and ends. An oil painting, a basket of fruit, homemade preserves, and often a bucket of change. The change he cleaned out of misbehaved dryers. The other odds and ends were often payment or thank-yous from doting customers. My dad would occasionally work on barter when the goods or services were useful to our family. He had a contract with the local butcher shop which kept us fed on fresh beef, chicken, and pork. He never charged a clergy member and when he knew someone could not pay him, he often made up an excuse why there was no charge. When I went off to college with my new computer, the salesman was the lucky owner of a new refrigerator.

I suppose my history with the barter system is why I still use it. If at all possible, I am more than willing to barter for goods and services. Dance lessons this year and last were paid for by my efforts sewing and altering dance costumes. As this year has been a year of financial hardship, I am thankful for my ability to sew. I am also thankful for my enjoyment and passion for costuming. I know that I am doing what God has planned for me because it is never a burden and always exciting.

I just finished up the last of my costuming for the March production. The cat masks have been a challenge. I must have made 8 different versions before I was satisfied with the look. They needed to be sparkly and girly for the big girls wearing tutus and pointe shoes, yet still look like a cat. They needed to be comfortable for these girls to wear. I ended up making a layer of flannel, a layer of canvas, and a layer of satin. They were rather time consuming but I think the finished result is worth the extra effort. I cannot wait to see them all on stage.